There are two types of people in this world -- those who have been wronged and grow better, and those who have been wronged and grow bitter.
Let's face it: we have all been done wrong at one time or another. We can all recall mistakes our parents made while we were in their care. Who hasn't had someone they considered a friend do something or say something to betray that friendship? And, who can say they have never had someone they looked up to as a leader let them down in some way. So, no one has a corner on the "I've been hurt" market. What does set some apart from others, however, is the ways in which they deal with those hurts.
The bottom line is this: if you are one who has grown bitter over past hurts, you will make the world around you a bitter place. The bitterness inside of you will infect all those around you in one way or another. Your children will not learn how to deal with the hard knocks of life; they will feel isolated and lonely because your bitterness becomes the most important thing in your life; and, they will act out in any number of ways. Your friends and colleagues will reach out and try to help you because they will feel compassionate toward you; yet, slowly but surely, they will become disillusioned as they realize you don't really want help to change, you just want someone to pity you and allow you to wallow in your victim mentality. Instead of making you see the truth about yourself, their pulling away will only give you more ammunition for your bitterness. Your spouse will certainly grow weary of the constant struggle to pull you out of your self-made pit, causing your marriage to either slip into a mind-numbing comatose state or die altogether. You may think you have no control over your bitterness. You may think that someone else did this to you, and there is nothing you can do about it. But, you do and there is...
You can join the group of people who have been hurt, and yet somehow, have grown better. Those are the people who make the world around them a better place. They rise from the ashes of what others have done to them and prove everyone wrong. They are determined to learn from the mistakes of others instead of making those same mistakes themselves. You would almost think they actually grow stronger through times of adversity rather than weaker. Too many times we dismiss these people by saying to ourselves that they must not have had it as bad as us, when the truth is, they may have had it worse. Just like the famous R.E.M. song says, "...everybody hurts sometimes...". Nobody has the corner on that market. We all live with our own unique hurts and pains. We all have truly been a victim at some point in time -- we had no choice in that; but, freedom comes when we realize we do have a choice in what we do with our hurts and pains.
So, the question is, which group do you choose?...
c2009 Lorenda Houston
