It's more popular than Solataire...

"You ruined my life!"

"I'm not happy because of you!"

The Blame Game. The most commonly played game in the world.

"If only God would..."
"If only the government would..."
"If only the church would..."
"If only my parents would..."
"If only my spouse would..."
"If only my kids would..."
"If only my friends would..."
"If only you would..."
.... "then I could..."

The fact is that until we start looking at ourselves and saying, "What can I do about this?", nothing will get better in our lives.

Instead of, "You ruined my life!", it should be, "I allowed you to create chaos in my life, and I'm not going to allow it anymore." Once we recognize our own responsibility in each situation and relationship in our lives, we can then begin to take the steps we need to take to fix things. If you feel someone is ruining your life, what can you do about it? You can remove yourself from the equation. You can't change that person, but you CAN change yourself. That realization is empowering because no longer do you need to be a victim of someone or something else.

Of course, there are too many times we enjoy being the victim. We want to blame someone else for our problems because as long as we do that, we don't have to take any action to make ourselves better. We can wallow in self-pity and point the finger at our parents, at the government, at God, at the church -- everyone but ourselves -- and feel justified in living however we please because, "It's not my fault". Sadly, when we choose to live like that, we not only hurt ourselves but everyone around us as well.

No one can change the past, but we CAN move on from here.

No one can force changes in the government, but we CAN make personal choices that will positively effect those around us and make life better.

No one can force the hand of God, but we CAN surrender our lives to him and know we are safe in his care.

No one can force change in another person, but we CAN take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions, which will bring peace in our own lives and may even bring about change in others we could never plan.

Instead of The Blame Game, how about The Change Game? How can I make changes within myself to better this situation?...

Instead of "enjoying" being the victim (which you can't really enjoy since it comes from a place of ugliness), try enjoying being empowered for a change!



c2009 Lorenda Houston