"it's the thought that counts..."

have you ever thought about what that phrase really means?

it's actually a pretty ridiculous thing to say... just an excuse... for not actually DOING something nice for someone...

so, you didn't do something nice for someone, but you thought about it?... wow, that's actually worse than not thinking about it!

it's not the thought that counts... it's the ACTION that counts... ever heard of "love is a verb"?

it reminds me of the passages in the book of James that talk about how important ACTING on our faith is...faith without actions is dead...

i guess that leads to another, more accurate saying: "actions speak louder than words" (or thoughts, i might add)...



c2010 lorenda houston

prayer as a weapon...

...and I don't mean the good kind, as in "spiritual warfare".

I mean, have you ever been around a person who seems to use public prayer as a means to avoid communication; as a means to punish another; as a means to exert control over others?

Prayer is one of the most wonderful and powerful tools we have as Christ-followers and was never intended to be used in any kind of negative way. When you are disappointed with your child's behavior, it's fine to pray together about it, but it's not okay to try to correct that behavior with the words you use in that prayer. In doing so, you will likely cause your child to think of God negatively. She may think God is as angry with her as you are. I have often told my children that there may be times they feel they can't talk to me, but they should know they can ALWAYS talk to God (pray). And, that is what we want our children to feel and know...NOT, that, oh yes, God loves you, but he is also really ANGRY with you! That is not based in truth.

When a family crisis arises, it's wonderful to pray together, but not in order to avoid actual communication with one another. Pray that God will help you all communicate clearly and be respectful of each other's feelings and bring healing where there has been hurt, and then proceed to actually talk and listen and work through the crisis as a family should.

One of the worst is when you hear a preacher pray publicly and you're left feeling as if you've received a tongue-lashing. Or, he/she prays and you feel as if they are "in cahoots" with God and you're simply a lowly peon. How very different from the way the Bible encourages each of us and all of us to go to "the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

Prayer is a connection built on love. It is communication with our Creator, the one who loves us all the same and each of us equally. You, as a parent, can go to the throne of grace with confidence, just as can your child. You, as a leader, can go to the throne of grace with confidence, just as can those whom you are leading. Doesn't the Bible make it clear that in God's eyes we "are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus... There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus"? (Galatians 3:20)

So, let us be careful how we use times of public prayer... Just as I want my life, lived out, to speak the truth about who Jesus is, so I want my words of communication with God to be a truthful portrayal of how he feels about me and those listening, whether that listener is my precious child or a room full of people who have graciously gathered to hear what I have to say. Isn't part of our job description as Christians to remove walls between people and God, to make the path clear, simple, easy to understand? It seems that prayer is another one of those things that we've abused and misused and built into something it's not supposed to be which actually BLOCKS the view to Christ...




c2010 lorenda houston

She lies down at dawn and rises in the early afternoon. I gently, cautiously extract myself from my cozy spot in the bed beside her so as not to cause her any disturbance of sleep. Her hearing aids lay on the bedside table, so I know she cannot hear if I move quietly enough; still, I don't want my movements to awaken her. She lies peacefully still on her cushion of sheepskin on top of the bedsheets, covered by warm blankets. Stealthily, I move out of the bedroom and into the kitchen...

Until she wakes, I mill around quietly in the ancient two-story house, home to various family members at different times throughout the years, but, in my mind, it is and forever shall be, her house. With the curtains drawn, the shadowy light provides the perfect setting for my secret discoveries and happy solitude. Everything seems magical during these hours...

She is a collector of many things, all infinitely interesting to my young creative mind. Rows of variously shaped wine glasses, carefully stored in open-fronted cabinets high off the floor, never used for wine, of course, as we are a non-drinking family; yet, lovingly and painstakingly hand-washed, dried and put away after each use. We do use them -- it would be ridiculous not to enjoy their interesting shapes, always held in my hand with the stem between my fingers, just so... Late at night, we enjoy simplistically elegant meals of cheese and crackers, accompanied by grape juice or some such beverage served expansively in one of the wine glasses of our choice. Many of the smaller ones are housed in a shelving unit along the wall behind the small kitchen table, more easily accessible to her and to me. Shot glasses of many colors, tiny stemmed glasses, all playing into my passion for miniature things.

The house is always neatly cluttered with her things. Stacks of notes to remind her of the things she doesn't want to forget are on the desk made especially for her, with plenty of room underneath for her chair to slide in easily. Lions and tigers -- photos, figurines, stuffed animals -- are scattered throughout the rooms, their quiet elegance and graceful strength a constant, calming presence. A rectangular glass container houses blue liquid, which, when turned on, slowly seesaws from side to side, making the liquid move, mimicking a wave on the ocean, for which she so passionately longs. Other reminders of the sea are everywhere...

The hours pass slowly as I explore and daydream... The hardwood floor occasionally groans beneath my socked feet.

There is a delightfully tiny room beneath the staircase in the space between the kitchen, her bedroom and the bathroom. We talk and dream of fixing it up into something really special...maybe a secret reading nook...maybe simply a secret hiding place...

I enjoy climbing the stairs, but since she cannot access them, I don't spend much time up there. At first, that is her sister's space, later used for storage; even later, living space for other family members. While her sister lives there, it is a world unto itself -- light-filled, airy, vibrant; the bed on the screened-in porch a favorite place for sleeping when my sisters and our cousins are all there; the claw-footed tub a favorite place for long, luxurious bubble baths. Her sister's clothes-filled closet stretches from wall to wall in the bedroom. When she came home from college one time, she had a light-blue denim shirt upon which she had embroidered all kinds of things. I vaguely remember something on there having to do with her college boyfriend. All her talk of boyfriends always made me a little flushed with adolescent excitement and pre-pubescent embarrassment. She was the youngest of the siblings, closer to our age than the others, so hip and cool and modern...

But downstairs, it is quiet, serene, peaceful, dark...the perfect place for me. I walk back into the bedroom, and she is stirring. Feather is also awake now. Feather, Freddy, Feather-bed, "Mr." Fred -- her perfectly precocious poodle; her constant companion. She has a million names for her. So many, I can't remember them all. We say good morning. She sits up, puts in her hearing aids and pulls her legs over the side of the bed. She then pulls her chair toward herself and carefully, quickly shifts her body into it. Thus, her "morning" routine begins...

She wheels into the bathroom, asks me if I need anything, and says she'll be an hour or two. Sometimes I leave her to her privacy, other times I stay and help her with something. She empties her bag into the toilet. Whenever we go places together, she always asks me to tell her if I ever smell the urine, in case she doesn't notice. She spends the next while on the toilet, privately taking care of her physical needs, the needs unique to a paraplegic. I feel privileged that she trusts me with these things. Privileged and honored that she would share with me, her young niece, the most personal aspects of her life. But, that's the thing about her -- she makes me feel important.

She is the one person in my world who makes me feel good about who I am. She understands me. We understand each other. Without saying much. We simply know who the other is. I feel unique and special with her, not awkward and misunderstood. I feel no embarrassment being who I am with her; still shy, but "okay", nonetheless.

As she goes through her morning routine, hoisting herself from her chair into the tub with the help of a pull-up bar that Pop fixed for her and bathing, I contentedly care for Feather and wait for her to finish. I may walk past the bathroom and we may talk about something for a moment, or I may leave her, with the door closed, to her warm bath. Finally, she is done and ready to face the day.

We spend the afternoon hours doing this and that... Freddy takes her place either on her lap or on the foot rests of the chair as she wheels around the house. She has a painting in a corner of the living room that always intrigues me. Dark shades of purple with some green...the outline of a silhouetted head ending with an outline of a human body inside the head... She is an artist, a writer, a thinker, yet always frustrated that she can't do more of these things, that she can't express herself more fully. She feels utterly restricted by the chair, the paralysis, the loss...

She is trapped in her body, trapped by her body...trapped by the time she must spend caring for her body... Tormented, at times, by people's well-meaning, yet awkward, sympathy. Tormented by her own physical limitations. Tormented by the abandonment of the man she loved so much... She sometimes suffers with terrible sores that form from not being able to feel what her body needs -- bed sores. And, why, on top of the paralysis and all the physical problems it brings, did she have to suffer hearing loss as well?

She is so beautiful. Deep-set eyes, long, dark hair, tiny wrists, long fingers. She has a meticulous make-up kit with which she "fixes herself up" each day. I don't think she needs it, but she struggles to see the beauty in her face that I - and everybody else - so clearly see. Her waist is tiny, yet all she notices are her thighs, which appear wide to her as she sits in the chair -- that being her only vantage point. Her feet sit without feeling on the footholds that fold up or down as needed at the bottom of the chair. Her toes curl under a bit, but to my eyes, there is no "deformity" there. All I see is her gentle spirit and radiant beauty. She wears an intriguing ring on her lovely long, bony finger. The stone is reminiscent of the painting...iridescent purple with some green in the right light, an elongated marquise cut. It usually dangles the wrong way on her finger because the meat in between her knuckles is a bit lacking. Sometimes one of her legs will suddenly kick straight out in front of her, as if protesting its typical lack of movement, and she must coax it down from its stiffness, as if calming the unrest in her very soul. We usually laugh together when this happens, and I understand innately how laughter can be a welcome coping mechanism...

As afternoon turns to evening, the sun sets and the stars begin to appear, we come to her favorite part of the day. Night. It is my favorite, too. I feel fully alive at night, as does she. Neighbors, including family who live in homes on the same property, with Pop's auto-repair shop, "Lee's Garage", at the center, begin to go to bed for the night. But we, two night owls, are just getting started. We light candles, play cards and enjoy our cheese and crackers feast as the magical night wears on. No one comes to bother, checking in, interrupting our solitude. It is just we two. Oh, and Fredder-bed! We talk and play into the wee hours of the morning. At the perfect point of darkness, she wheels outside and I follow, onto the long concrete sidewalk, high off the ground, connecting her house with her older sister's. We sit and look at the moon and stars, enjoying the solitude and quiet of the dark night. Sometimes, I stay up with her to watch the sun peek over the horizon, but I always feel a little naughty when I do, and she always feels concerned for me. So, usually I retire to bed before she does, snuggling down under the heavy, furry blanket, feeling safe... content... understood.

She has suffered so. She suffers still. Yet, she has given me something I so desperately need. She -- my dear, damaged, disabled, Aunt Elaine, has accepted me as I am and has made me feel I have something important to offer the world. She calls me "Kidden" (I do love cats), and I call her "Laine", my "favorite". In her seeming powerlessness, she has empowered me to be who I am... The beauty and brokenness of her uniqueness have shown me how to be my own unique self. The honesty of our conversations and her desire to listen to me have made me feel I have something to offer. I am and will forever be indebted to her because of it.




c2010 lorenda houston

clarity...

Death puts everything into perspective.

Those on their deathbeds, and those loved ones of someone recently deceased always say the same things:

Forgive.
Spend more time with those you love.
Make your spouse and your children the priority in your life.
Slow down.
Enjoy the little things.
Say, "I love you" more.
Be more affectionate.

Interesting, isn't it, that these all sound like things from God's Instruction Manual?

These are the things you don't hear from a dying person:

I wish I had spent more time at the bar.
I wish I had spent more time at work.
I wish I had had more sex partners.
I wish I had done more drugs.
I wish I had had more money.

Things become crystal-clear when death is imminent, and the truth is, death is imminent for us all. We have no guarantee of the next moment.

Let the clarity death brings help us all to make better choices while we're still breathing Earth's air...



c2010 lorenda houston

Yes, but...

We want God to bless us, but we're unwilling to live a fully surrendered life...

We want financial blessing, but we're unwilling to follow the giving principles God lays out in his word which prove our full trust of his lordship in our lives...

We want respectful, well-behaved children, but we're unwilling to provide them the loving discipline God so clearly teaches in his word and mirrors for us as our heavenly father...

We want an exciting, fulfilling marriage, but we're unwilling to make the biblical choices that would get us there...

We want God's provision, but we're unwilling to give up control...

We want peace, but we're unwilling to break our addiction to drama...

We want satisfaction, but we're unwilling to follow the instruction manual...

We want God's acceptance, but we're unwilling to rebel against society's rules...

We want meaning and fulfillment in life, but we're unwilling to live as we were created to live...

We want time to slow down, but we're unwilling to stop running full-speed ahead...

...


We'll never get what we want until we stop saying, "Yes, but...", and start saying, simply, "Yes".



c2010 lorenda houston

School, Sports, Socializing, Spirituality...what's most important?

We worry about everything when it comes to our kids. We worry about their education and about their physical development. We make sure they have the clothes they need, the food they need, the stuff they need. We want them to actively participate in sports, in school functions, in social events and parties. We spend so much time, energy and money to make sure our kids are well-rounded. And yet, the most important thing of all is so often neglected: the spiritual. All those other things are fine and can even be good and healthy, but if the spiritual life of your child comes last, none of those other things will even matter in the end.

I would speculate that the main reason for this neglect is simply that the parent's own spiritual life is lacking. Maybe you have so many unanswered questions or a negative spiritual upbringing yourself that you aren't sure how to approach spirituality with your own children. That's really a lame excuse, though. If you care at all about that baby you brought into the world, why wouldn't you treat his spiritual life with the importance you treat his school life or his social life or his sports life?

God wants to walk in relationship with your child. He cares more for your child than you ever could, so why don't you do the most important thing you could ever do as a parent? Open the door for your child to have a vibrant, lasting, ongoing relationship with God. Make spirituality a priority in your own life first, and then in your family life. It doesn't have to be perfect, nor should it be weird. It just has to be real.



c2010 lorenda houston

open your hymnal and turn to page...

That's the kind of church music i remember as a child...

"The Hymnal".

Nothing wrong with the hymnal.

The hymnal is simply a book full of songs. Mostly songs about God and to God, about themes found in the Bible, as well as patriotic songs and songs with themes more specific to whatever type of church to which one belongs. I remember it was always kind of a big deal when our particular church's national offices put out a new hymnal. There were always a few newer songs included in it, and maybe a few older ones that were discontinued. It was as if a few new songs had acquired the "holy stamp of approval" from the higher-ups as "acceptable to be sung in OUR churches"... Somewhere, someone had crossed the line from, "here's a bunch of songs bound in book form useful for using in your church gatherings", to, "here are the songs we have decided are sacred and must be the only ones sung at your gatherings in order to receive approval". Approval from whom? Well, from your particular church's national leaders, of course, but certainly implied in that kind of conversation is approval from God himself.

What is wrong is that somewhere along the way, the hymnal began being viewed as a sacred book. The implied sentiment is that "The Hymnal" is equal with "The Bible"... I'm sure the church leaders would argue against that, but it's certainly what I perceived as I was growing up.

As a songwriter who shares songs in a church setting, I so appreciate when people identify with what I've written and even find hope and perhaps develop an emotional attachment to a particular song. As a music lover, I completely understand that and have many songs I feel that exact way about - including some from my childhood hymnal. We experience certain events at certain times in our lives and identify certain songs with those times, so we feel certain emotions when we hear those songs again. This is exactly what happens and has happened in all the years past in people's church experiences: the song they remember singing at the time they opened their heart to Jesus' love for the first time; the song they remember singing when they went to church during a difficult time in their life; the song they remember hearing when they were a child at church with their parents who have now passed away. These songs have great sentimental value, and for good reason! But, that doesn't mean they should be the songs that are sung during church gatherings now. What about the people in the audience who can't identify with that song at all because the language is Shakespearean in style? Or simply because it is the language of a church culture from 100 years ago? Or, even 50 years ago?

I find it sad that we've allowed ourselves to care so much about things that don't matter at all in the eternal context to which God calls us to live. And, even more so, that we've allowed these insignificant things to make our message irrelevant to so many who desperately need it today.

I have written many songs that I've shared in our church gatherings which I hope and pray affect people's lives positively, with which I hope people can identify, and to which I hope some people perhaps even grow emotionally attached, but if someone bundles them up someday and says, "these are the only songs you should sing at church", I would wish I had never even written them.


more thoughts on this topic at an older post of mine:
http://lorendahouston.blogspot.com/2009/03/worshipand-other-misunderstood-words.html


c2010 lorenda houston

She is a collector of many things, all infinitely interesting to my young creative mind. Rows of variously shaped wine glasses, carefully stored in open-fronted cabinets high off the floor, never used for wine, of course, as we are a non-drinking family; yet, lovingly and painstakingly hand-washed, dried and put away after each use. We do use them -- it would be ridiculous not to enjoy their interesting shapes, always held in my hand with the stem between my fingers, just so... Late at night, we enjoy simplistically elegant meals of cheese and crackers, accompanied by grape juice or some such beverage served expansively in one of the wine glasses of our choice. Many of the smaller ones are housed in a shelving unit along the wall behind the small kitchen table, more easily accessible to her and to me. Shot glasses of many colors, tiny stemmed glasses, all playing into my passion for miniature things.




c2010 lorenda houston

favorites....

solitude


quiet


stillness


calm


surrender


the peace that comes from surrender


doing what i can


not doing more than i can


silence


dusk


the holy spirit, my constant companion


...





c2010 lorenda houston

don't forget to stop and smell the roses...

driving through traffic, heading home, mind full of thoughts, preoccupied, turn left on flager road, pass the mailboxes, pass the tanks, look to the left, and...

...

suddenly, all thoughts vanish, mind clears, calm floods the car, my mind, my soul...turn off the radio, slow down, and stare...

at the beauty, the grand majesty of the view...

the mountains, periwinkle in the distance, silhouetted against the light blue sky and white puffs of clouds, anchored by miles of low-growing vegetation and red sand...

everything makes sense...i relax without even trying, my breathing slows, my head clears...

it is HIS world.

and i am just living in it, with HIM leading the way.

...


thanks, god, that i get to see this every time i drive home.




c2010 lorenda houston

musings on the eve of my birthday...

I was never afraid of age and still am not. I'll be 44 tomorrow. Some of you think that is old, some of you think that is young... It depends on your age! Really, though, age is all about perspective, right? Perspective, and well, physically speaking, the body does continually grow older... I don't remember ever wishing desperately to be a different age. I do remember being in my early 20's and in leadership already and feeling at times it would be easier to gain respect if I were in my 40's. Now that I'm in my 40's...hmmm...not so sure about that! Maybe in my 60's... :) I think I've just never felt "grown-up", although I've carried the weight of many responsibilities from a very young age... Maybe it's because I tend to think "outside the box" about things. Although naturally quiet and shy and an obedient child, still, when other people set "the rules", I'm always questioning "the rules". And yet, I have always found myself in the role of leading others, which includes setting and enforcing rules at times, putting me at odds with my own natural bent and causing occasional volcanic inner battles! Anyway, wasn't I writing about age?!? Oh, yeah, 44... It's just funny to think of my parents at this age. They seemed so much more grown-up than how I feel. Oh well, I'm sure that's not how they felt either. On second thought, my dad probably did. He seems to savor being The Grown-Up. ;)

I can say, I love life. I love the life God has given me. I feel better about where I am now than anywhere I've been before. I appreciate what I've learned from the past, and I'm excited about what's ahead in the future. At 44, I can appreciate all I've been through, and because of all I've been through, I have a clearer vision of where I need to go. I do have a confidence that can only come with age and living through mistakes and coming out on the other side, which I do appreciate since I've so struggled with self-doubt all my life. I hope I can keep learning, keep growing, keep loving, keep laughing, dancing, singing, painting, thinking, crying, feeling, writing for as long as God allows me to breathe on this earth. And, after that, all will be peace and joy forever without the struggle of trying! So, 44?... Who cares, when you're gonna live forever anyway.



c2010 lorenda houston

She lies down at dawn and rises in the early afternoon. I gently, cautiously extract myself from my cozy spot in the bed beside her so as not to cause her any disturbance of sleep. Her hearing aids lay on the bedside table, so I know she cannot hear if I move quietly enough; still, I don't want my movements to awaken her. She lies peacefully still on her cushion of sheepskin on top of the bedsheets, covered by warm blankets. Stealthily, I move out of the bedroom and into the kitchen...

Until she wakes, I mill around quietly in the ancient two-story house, home to various family members at different times throughout the years, but, in my mind, it is and forever shall be, her house. With the curtains drawn, the shadowy light provides the perfect setting for my secret discoveries and happy solitude. Everything seems magical during these hours...



c2010 lorenda houston

favorites...

rain


the smell of rain


the smell of the desert after the rain


the sky


clouds


sunsets


the moon


night


the ocean


waves crashing on the beach


the tide receding to uncover "new" shells


seashells


vacation


nothing to do





...




c2010 lorenda houston

empathy...

n : the experiencing as one's own of the feelings of another

"...treat everyone as you would like to be treated...this sums up everything the bible says," matthew 7:12.

"what the world needs now is empathy, sweet empathy...it's the only thing that there's just too little of." -hal david, revised by me.

empathy is what we all want when the cop pulls us over for speeding...

“do not judge others, and you will not be judged. for you will be treated as you treat others. the standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. and why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? how can you think of saying to your friend, ‘let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? hypocrite! first get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye," matthew 7:1-5.

"then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye"... when?

WHEN YOU HAVE LEARNED EMPATHY.

"when you can't see past the log in your own eye", you are selfish, self-centered, arrogant and egotistical. you see no problem with yourself, yet you judge everyone around you. how can you "get rid of the log in your own eye"??? by turning the searchlight on your own heart, seeing yourself as equal to everyone else, recognizing your own need, recognizing your own humanity, humbling yourself before the only one who is greater than anyone else - god. when you do those things, you can't help but become empathetic toward others. you will no longer "judge" because you desperately do not want to BE judged.

we all struggle with "judgmentalism" (is that even a word?). why is it so in our human nature to judge one another? i don't know. but, i do know that's why the bible deals so plainly with it. the bible shines the light brightly on all our human weaknesses... not to make us feel hopeless, but to actually show us we need god's help if we are ever going to be anything like what we should be. we cannot gain more empathy on our own. we cannot rid ourselves of our judgmental eyes simply by wishing it so. we need god's help. as always. only complete and on-going surrender to him allows us to view others, as well as ourselves, as we should...

hopeless? no. helpless? yes, definitely, without god's help.




c2010 lorenda houston

comfort zone...

when was the last time you did something outside of your comfort zone?

we all find that spot where we feel "safe" and want to stay there. safe, meaning protected from criticism, shielded from change, cocooned in, so to speak... there are always times we need to pull away in solitude or with only our closest companions to recharge and refresh, but i'm talking about isolating ourselves from ever having to experience anything that brings change to us. because that's what happens when you step outside your comfort zone. you are confronted with people, experiences, places, which force you to adapt, change, grow...even, rethink your "position". sometimes we need to experience discomfort in order to address selfishness which so quickly creeps in to all our lives. when we rarely or never step outside our comfort zones, we become judgmental, uncaring, skeptical, harsh, critical. we lose empathy for others. and empathy is what we all need more of. empathy is what tears down walls. at some point in your life, you will need empathy from others, so isn't it best to live with an attitude of empathy right now?

"...in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets," matthew 7:12. by "the law and the prophets", jesus was referring to what portion of the bible they had right then. in other words, treat everybody the way you want to be treated -- this sums up what the whole bible is about!

the next time you find yourself being overly critical and judgmental of people, rip yourself out of your comfort zone. go somewhere you've never been... try to see life from someone else's perspective... put yourself in their shoes. isn't that exactly what jesus did when he, who being god, came down to this earth, wrapped himself in humanity, and lived amongst us?... he refused to stay within his "comfort zone" in order to relate to us... how much more should we, being utterly human, refuse to stay within our selfish comfort zones in order to understand and empathize with one another more adequately...





c2010 Lorenda Houston

why?...

never got around to watching LOST on tv, so started watching it on the internet a couple of days ago, after much prodding from my daughter... one of the things i like about it -- after watching no more than most of season 1, mind you (i realize things could change over the course of 6 seasons!) -- is that everything that happens seems to have a reason for happening...the strange things that take place seem to have a direct connection to things that have happened in the individuals' lives before the crash...

one of the most common questions in life seems to be, "why?"... we always want to know the answer to that one question in our lives...

some of the most profound epiphanies in my life happened when i allowed myself to uncover the answer to that question... and, not with the quick answer of blaming someone else... i'm talking about the "why" that goes deep into my own heart and mind... it is, at times, a frightening place to go... an always revealing place to go...

the thing is, there is always a "why" for every action we take as humans...

and only when we get brave enough to start excavating those deep places will we find what we're looking for in this life... only when we turn the searchlight on in our own hearts will we be able to make deep, lasting, transformational changes...

isn't that really what we want anyway?... transformation?...

it's easy to blame someone else, everyone else, anyone besides ourselves, but that doesn't bring change... change only occurs when we take a good, long look at ourselves and answer the questions that really hurt... why did i do that? why did i say that? why do i feel this way? why? why? why?

transformation is painful... change hurts... the searchlight is traumatic... it doesn't miss a thing... it reveals what we try to hide from everyone, from ourselves, from god... but, until we let it shine, happiness will be fleeting and joy will be non-existent...

in essence, we will remain...

LOST.



c2010 Lorenda Houston

scorching hot day in the desert...

thunderheads move in...

starts pouring rain!

can't get much better than that...


c2010 Lorenda Houston

trust & love...

do i trust god?

do i trust what he says?
do i trust what he promises?

do i trust that he will never leave me?
do i trust that he can make something good come from my mess?
do i trust that he knows what is best for me?
do i trust that when everything seems to be falling apart around me, he will still take care of me?

because that is when trust is tested...

when i have no more control over the situations around me, over the people around me, over what might happen in the next few moments...

that is when my trust of him is tested...

and then i realize -- that's how it has always been anyway!

i have no control over the situations around me.
i have no control over the people around me.
i have no control over this world.
i have no control.
i am not in control.

and then, i have two choices: fear or trust.

fear because i realize i have no control.

but, i will not choose fear.
i will choose trust.

i trust god.
i trust him to know what is best for me.
i trust him to lead me in the paths down which i need to go.
i trust him.
i trust his love for me.
i trust in his love.

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first."

--I John 4:7-19

and that is the kind of love i can trust...

c2010 Lorenda Houston

nothing & everything...

nothing...

i am nothing without god...

i fail.
i fall.
i fumble the ball.

the past is a weight.
the present, a drag.
the future, murky.

but with him, i come to life!
i come alive!
i am alive!

the past is forgiven, forgotten, powerless.
the present, beautiful, doable, powerful.
the future, hope-filled, worry-free, in his hands.

i move.
i walk tall.
i carry the ball.

everything.

i am everything i need to be.
in him.
through him.
by him.


c2010 Lorenda Houston

People of color, unite!
All shades of brown, from darkest to light...

We are so much the same!
No matter the skin tone, no matter the name...

We should let nothing divide!
No cultural difference, no self-centered pride...

Abolish envy and hate!
No fuel to the fire, it will soon dissipate...

Do not let arrogance rise!
Love your neighbor as yourself, see life through his eyes...

A rainbow of browns are we!
How many the hues, what variety...

Embrace the uniqueness in all!
United, we stand; divided, we fall...


c2010 Lorenda Houston

"there IS rest for the weary...!" .....OR..... "satan, sleep and surrender: what could they possibly have in common?!..."

I love to sleep, but I hate having to go to sleep... It's one of the aggravations of my life! Maybe it is because I tend to be a slower-moving type of person and never seem to get everything done that I'd like in a day. I find it so frustrating to have to go to sleep when I want to keep going.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's another one of those things I can see satan (yes, I believe he's real, though I still have questions) uses to trip us up. I've heard plenty of drug addicts talk about using speed/meth to "get things done", but again, it's a cheap shortcut because they never really get anything done, except picking at their faces or taking electronics apart and never getting them back together. Okay, maybe a super-clean house, but is it really worth the price paid? So, their brains are basically tricked into believing they're accomplishing great things by being able to cheat sleep. Cheating sleep sounds pretty enticing to me sometimes...

It's interesting that the Bible talks about sleep as if it's a good thing...

Psalm 127
"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat--
for he grants sleep to those he loves."

So, sleep is a gift from God to those who surrender control of their lives to him...

In Matthew 6:34, Jesus himself tells us to not "...worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

To me, that indicates the importance of laying down the day and its unfinished projects and worries at the end of the day and seeing each day as a fresh start.

The fact that I'm never "finished" when it's time to sleep is something I should just let go of while I'm still on this earth. It's another thing that entices me toward heaven and what God has in store beyond the here and now. Revelation 21 and 22 both say there will be no more night and that we will live forever. The very fact that we can never fully be satisfied by our accomplishments on this earth make me believe there has got to be more to our existence than just this short time here... Time will no longer be a hindrance, nor will sleep!

So, while I remain on this earth, I will gratefully allow God to grant me sleep and help me deal with only the worries of today...while daydreaming about what lies beyond...


c2010 Lorenda Houston

Thirteen...

She presses play...

...and begins to mouth the words and move in rhythm with the beat, each phrase sweetly choreographed by herself: no dance troupe needed. Gliding here and there, arms extended, hands gracefully lending a charming lilt, head tilting ever so slightly to the right, then the left. Upon her glowing face, each emotional word vulnerably portrayed. In her sparkling eyes, every heartfelt note frankly visible. She is immersed in the melody, submerged in the harmonies, engulfed by the poetry. She is full of the joy of life, flushed with love's first crush, energized by youthful passion. She is innocent and serene, bubbling with hope, bursting with dreams...

A fluttering woodland fairy... a butterfly on the breeze... a sparrow stretching its wings...

She is the dancing queen.


c2010 Lorenda Houston

Top Ten Things Your Teen Wants From You

10--FOR YOU TO BE AN ADULT

The last thing your teen wants is competition from you, her parent. Control yourself!

Don't try to relive your teen years through your own teenager. That's pathetic!

Don't dress, talk, or act like a teenager. That doesn't mean you can't be "cool", just don't cross the line into ridiculous. That's disgusting!

Pay attention to what your teen is going through. Of course you have a lot on your plate and a lot on your mind, but your teen is at the most critical time of his life, and he is your most pressing responsibility. So, be a grown-up and set aside those other things for the most important things. Get over yourself!

(This is another damaging effect divorce has on children: parents start acting like teenagers again -- dating, flirting, trying to be sexy, even being promiscuous and staying out til all hours of the night -- you know, like a teenager. Your teen can't stand that kind of behavior in you, and it creates an unhealthy role reversal in your relationship with him. He may say things like, "I just want my mom to be happy," and, "I want my mom to date whoever makes her happy," but deep inside, the idea of you dating at all is at odds with everything he innately considers "normal".)

9--FAMILY PEACE

Constant drama will destroy a teen. What do teens most struggle with? Emotionalism: trouble controlling their crazy emotions. So, when you allow the emotional state of your family to be in constant turmoil and chaos, imagine the added pressure to your teen.

Identify the source/sources destroying your family peace and begin to address them. Do you raise your voice or have a harsh tone to your voice every time you address a family member? Fix it. Do you have a too-busy schedule? Find ways to cut something out and slow it down. Is your marriage in turmoil? Identify issues and do the daily work to fix them. Are you easily frustrated, worried, depressed, self-absorbed, irritable? Surrender lordship of your life to God and let him carry the burdens instead of you.

Avoid divorce at all costs. The word should not even be in your vocabulary. Your kids should never have to worry if mom and dad are going to divorce.

If you are divorced, seek help and counsel in every way possible to avoid the common pitfalls of divorced families.

Daily surrender your life and your family to God's authority and live in such a way that shows it.

Involve your family in healthy activities -- consistent church involvement being priority. There are some things your teen should be able to decide whether or not she wants to participate in, but church is not one of those things; youth group is not one of those things. Your teen's spiritual well-being should be of the utmost importance to you, and when you know you have access to quality spiritual leadership and resources, why would you not do everything within your power to take advantage of them?

8--A LISTENING EAR

Zip your lip, open your ears, pay attention and don't freak out!! We humans have a tendency to talk first, listen later. Our teens often need us to do the opposite. If you will take time to listen to your teen (when things are winding down at the end of the day is a good time), you might just hear some really important stuff. And, if he knows he can talk without a harsh reaction, he just might tell you more than he thought he would! This will help you build a lasting relationship with him and open the door for you to give your valuable input into his life.

7--DISCIPLINE

Discipline is not a bad word and should never be mean or harsh. Discipline is training. Training for a successful life. When your teen knows (because you have built relationship with her), that you genuinely have her best interests at heart, she will gladly accept your training, discipline, and loving correction.

Discipline is not about control simply for control's sake. We parents should understand the difference. We are helping our teens learn how to have the best lives possible, not simply trying to control them, when we discipline them. We are getting them prepared for the future.

Discipline includes both teaching and punishment. There must be consequences for bad behavior. Talking and reasoning with your teen is valuable and important, but if it is not reinforced with appropriate punishment, the chances of it changing behavior is slim -- not because your teen is a "bad kid", but because he is normal! You know what his attention span is like!

(When I was in my teens, I developed a bad habit of coming in past my curfew. My parents would be upset and we would talk it through, but they never actually punished me for it. I never lost the privilege of going out the next weekend or anything else that would have been a valuable disciplinary tool for them. Thus, I never conquered the problem and it led to other negative issues in my life. Consequences should always go hand-in hand with teaching. Teens need that reinforcement.)


more to come...


c2010 Lorenda Houston

brrr...

Wow, what a difference a day can make in the desert! A cold wind blew in last night and now it's a brisk 39 degrees (F)! Still beautiful, though -- just put that heavy jacket back on.

a little too cold?
just button up tight!
who knows? it might...
just change tonight!

;-)




c2010 Lorenda Houston

Take a deep breath!

What a beautiful day! January in El Paso...sunny, 56 degrees (F), no wind... Wow, these are the days that make me love the desert! Well, actually, I love the desert no matter the weather, even the wind. It is the kind of day, though, that makes me happy to be alive.

I watch my big, gray cat rolling around in the sun-warmed dirt outside and wish for a moment that I was a cat. I watch my little white dog running around excitedly sniffing in and around the mounds covering our three acres and think what fun it must be to be a dog!

Mostly, though, I'm happy to be breathing in and out on this day, another day God has granted me life, and I wish time would slow down somehow...

Surely that must be a little of what heaven is like...finally able to truly just enjoy existence...no restraints of time...no aging, groaning, aching, moaning...no pressure, no deadlines, no negativity...

A fat, gray cat rolling around in the sun-warmed dirt...!


c2010 Lorenda Houston

potshots...

n 1 : a shot taken from ambush or at a random or easy target 2 : a critical remark made in a random or sporadic manner

There will always be people around who take potshots at you. Especially the more success you have. As you take hold of your life and begin to live a life of progress rather than regress, someone will always be there to say, "Well I know something about him..." or "I don't like this about her..." Spreading rumors or even just planting a seed of doubt into someone's mind about someone else is the easiest thing in the world to do. That's why it gives that sensation of accomplishment to the speaker, twisted though it may be. It suddenly turns a conversation from being positive about someone else to, "Hey, look at me, I'm here! Notice me!" The information shared may even be truth or, more often, half-truth, but the motivation of the speaker is always negative.

You know the best response to potshots? Ignore them. Yes, easy to say, much, much harder to do. If you ignore them, you don't fan the flames, you don't empower them; you rise above their ridiculous behavior. So hard to do when lies are being said about you, but you could never control all the things people say anyway, so why try? Here is a simple formula for dealing with potshots of all kinds...

.....

1. Ignore them.

Have whatever private reaction you may need -- a burst of anger, a good cry -- but, let it end with a quick prayer for strength and then, let it go.

2. Always acknowledge your humanity.

You know you're not perfect. You're not even trying to be perfect. So, in your everyday goings-on, be quick to acknowledge the truth about yourself: you struggle, you fight insecurities, you cry, you experience loss, you experience remorse, you make mistakes. None of us has anything to boast about. Our success is all thanks to God. You are simply living life the best you can under His authority.

3. Continually humble yourself before God.

Humility is one of the corner posts of a truly "Christian" life. The Bible is full of references to humility and the follies of arrogance. There is a scathing passage in Matthew 23 where Jesus addresses this topic. I kindof envision verses 11 and 12 in flashing neon!: "The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (NLT) James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor." (NLT) If you will continually humble yourself before God, he will take care of everything else.

4. Stay on course.

When you have humbled yourself before God, you can be sure of what you are doing. I love Proverbs 4:25-27: "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil." (NIV)

And, finally: 5. Don't take potshots at other people!

Matthew 7:12 always applies: "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." (NLT) We should be careful that the bad behavior of others doesn't influence us in any way to stoop to their level. Our natural reaction when we hear of potshots taken at us is to firstly, defend ourselves and secondly, react in response -- which often is to say something bad about them. Fight the "natural" reaction and do the right thing instead.

.....

Potshots are just that -- potshots!

--Stupid, easy, elementary, cowardly, snarky comments intended to bring you down to the level of the speaker -- who is motivated by jealousy, envy, self-centeredness, arrogance, laziness, or most simply, just plain-old meanness. It's one of the truly ugly sides to humanity, but see it for what it is and don't let it affect you in any way!


c2010 Lorenda Houston

Safe?

"Have a Safe Holiday"

I saw it as I was driving home just now. I understand what we mean when we say it, but is a "safe" holiday what any of us really wants? ...or a "safe" anything? We were made to be passionate, wild, expressive... We want to be excited, stimulated, exhilarated...! None of that is safe.

You know... God is not "safe".

I mean, of course we are safe with God -- as in "protected", "secure", "not in danger"; but "safe" -- as in "coloring within the lines" -- God is certainly not! God is passionate...!...wild...!...expressive...! He breaks out of every box religion tries to put him in; he defies every explanation the skeptic tries to present; and, just when you think you have him figured out, he does something that completely blows your mind! Jesus, who was God wrapped in human flesh, was the ultimate rebel. He surprised EVERYONE. No one could figure him out. What they thought he would do, he didn't, and what they thought he wouldn't do, he did. His ultimate act of love and sacrifice showed the level to which he would not "play it safe".

Religion is man's effort to understand God. Religion tends to "clean things up". Religion tends to try to get everyone to play it safe. "Okay, here is what I think is the important stuff in the Bible... If everyone would follow God the way I think they should, we wouldn't have all the problems we have... If everyone would just listen to me...." The thing is, we were all made in God's image -- with that wild, passionate, expressive nature. No one can box in humanity -- as much as many have tried -- just as no one can box in God.

There is, however, a difference between safe and reckless. God is not reckless. Too many times I've seen parents try to keep the "wild side" -- the desire to explore, discover, question -- of their children so controlled that in the end, those kids become completely reckless in their behaviors and with their choices and decisions. Whereas, if we give our children safe (as in "secure", "protected", "not in danger") boundaries in which to be wild (expressive, passionate, unique), might they be more likely to discover their true identities and passions? If we parents are too controlling, our kids will find unhealthy ways to express their wildness. Junior High is when this can become a serious problem: smoking, cursing, doing drugs, drinking alcohol, experimenting sexually -- all unhealthy expressions of wildness. Those things stunt our growth and too many times, stop us from discovering who we were really meant to be. How many drug addicts and alcoholics started participating in those addictive behaviors at junior high age and got stuck there, never fully able to discover who they were meant to be? And, one reason we engage in those behaviors is because we are wild, we are rebels, we don't want to be boxed in. But, just like all of Satan's cheap substitutes, those things end up robbing us of the true wildness God created us for!

Recklessness is destructive, but wildness is actually constructive! Trying to figure that out and find that balance has definitely been a lifelong struggle for me, but I've really come to understand that, just as we can't tame God, we shouldn't try to tame our wild hearts. Instead, remember the boundaries we do need in order to prevent recklessness and cultivate wildness are found in the principles of God's Word, the Bible -- the wildest book you could ever base your life on -- the guide to not playing it safe!

So, yeah, I want to have a safe holiday. Just not a safe one. :-)


c2010 Lorenda Houston