...and I don't mean the good kind, as in "spiritual warfare".
I mean, have you ever been around a person who seems to use public prayer as a means to avoid communication; as a means to punish another; as a means to exert control over others?
Prayer is one of the most wonderful and powerful tools we have as Christ-followers and was never intended to be used in any kind of negative way. When you are disappointed with your child's behavior, it's fine to pray together about it, but it's not okay to try to correct that behavior with the words you use in that prayer. In doing so, you will likely cause your child to think of God negatively. She may think God is as angry with her as you are. I have often told my children that there may be times they feel they can't talk to me, but they should know they can ALWAYS talk to God (pray). And, that is what we want our children to feel and know...NOT, that, oh yes, God loves you, but he is also really ANGRY with you! That is not based in truth.
When a family crisis arises, it's wonderful to pray together, but not in order to avoid actual communication with one another. Pray that God will help you all communicate clearly and be respectful of each other's feelings and bring healing where there has been hurt, and then proceed to actually talk and listen and work through the crisis as a family should.
One of the worst is when you hear a preacher pray publicly and you're left feeling as if you've received a tongue-lashing. Or, he/she prays and you feel as if they are "in cahoots" with God and you're simply a lowly peon. How very different from the way the Bible encourages each of us and all of us to go to "the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)
Prayer is a connection built on love. It is communication with our Creator, the one who loves us all the same and each of us equally. You, as a parent, can go to the throne of grace with confidence, just as can your child. You, as a leader, can go to the throne of grace with confidence, just as can those whom you are leading. Doesn't the Bible make it clear that in God's eyes we "are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus... There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus"? (Galatians 3:20)
So, let us be careful how we use times of public prayer... Just as I want my life, lived out, to speak the truth about who Jesus is, so I want my words of communication with God to be a truthful portrayal of how he feels about me and those listening, whether that listener is my precious child or a room full of people who have graciously gathered to hear what I have to say. Isn't part of our job description as Christians to remove walls between people and God, to make the path clear, simple, easy to understand? It seems that prayer is another one of those things that we've abused and misused and built into something it's not supposed to be which actually BLOCKS the view to Christ...
c2010 lorenda houston
